Danger!

Week 52

Danger!

December 30, 2010

There is certainly wisdom in heeding signs, though sometimes I believe we need to push on despite what others are telling us. Now it is not advised to ignore this particular sign, as there is a very tall cliff a very short distance behind it. It does, however bring up thoughts of risks and fear, and of fulfillment. 

Someone I respect a great deal once told me one of few regrets he had as he looked back was the handful of decisions in his life that were made out of fear. That surprised me at the time because this is a man I always viewed as confident, steady, and a man that was and is greatly respected in his community. All these things are true, and this man has shown to me and many others a tremendous amount of courage and leadership. I believe, though, he was referring to some life choices that perhaps he would have made differently. 

All of us can look back and wish we had made different decisions... I know I certainly can. All of us, with hindsight, can see a different path and imagine where it might have taken us. I believe this is a useless, and destructive way to live.  I don't mean thoughtful reflection, mind you. That's how we recall what has shaped us, and serves as a reminder to why we make the decisions in front of us. Rather, it's that pining over what could have been and despairing where we are, wishing we had taken different paths that erodes peace and confidence and can rob joy from your life. My college fraternity had a saying we all had to learn as pledges:  

Yesterday is gone forever. Tomorrow is yet to be. The destiny of [the fraternity] rests today with Thee. 

I think there is wisdom in this idea far beyond a social fraternity's well being. It's the idea that yesterday's choices can't be changed. Tomorrow is impossible to project, and the only influence you have on that future is the decisions you make today, right now.

I think this is where fear comes in. Fear has it's place, and keeps us from reckless abandon, and a life full of poor decisions and hurt for ourselves and more importantly, other people. But often, we look for signs of danger in an almost obsessive desire to avoid pain or hardship, when sometimes it's the thoughtful and deliberate pushing past these signs that results in peace and growth and fulfillment. Who is it you want to be, follow, or represent in this life? What are your dreams and the gifts you have to offer?

May 2011 be one of joy, and of peace, and of courageous decisions to shape your life and bless those around you. Happy New Year everyone!

image taken with Canon 5DMII, 50mm 1.8 lens, 1/5000 sec @ f1.8, ISO 400

Misha

Week 48

Misha

December 4, 2010

I don't like cats. Ok, let me re-phrase that. I don't like cats. It's not because they don't have every right to roam the earth as any other animal... like dogs for example. I could blame this on my father, who also doesn't like cats, but I won't claim a hereditary disposition against cats. Rather, it's that one can't really control a cat. Not in the way that you can control dogs. With dogs, you see, you teach it to obey. You teach it to fetch, to lay down, heel, and play dead. You know your dog loves you and wants day after day nothing more than to please you, it's owner. Not the cat. With cats... it's more of a role reversal, really. You end up being the one that fetches.  Cats may or may not like you or even tolerate you on any given day. I round out this thought with the confession that I myself have never owned a cat. The closest I've come is pictured above. Her name is Misha, and it's my brother's cat. I've fed her twice. She's a nice cat. Besides the time she tried to bite me.  My second confession is that I don't really dislike cats. I don't want one, but I don't dislike them. In fact, I've come to appreciate some things that they have to offer. 

Cats are helpful to think about when looking at a life, I think. Like cats, we can't control much of life, and that which we think we can control, we're wrong about. It seems rather, the more we let go and appreciate what is given to us and presented to us day to day, the more we tend to enjoy life. In other words, recognizing that I am not in control = happier, more fulfilled life. I don't believe this is the full equation (by any means), there will definitely be some arguments about this, and there is much to be said for who or what you believe is in control. But I think it starts with recognizing that it's not "me". Not just intellectually recognizing this idea, mind you. Most of us can "agree" that we aren't in control. But deep down in your gut recognizing. That place where we get mad at traffic and our computer. That place where we leap to judgment of someone not because of some merited character flaw, but because they don't agree with us, and we can't change their mind so we make up some bogus association in our mind that allows us to dislike them.

Recognizing that we are not in control doesn't mean that we don't care. It doesn't mean that we don't plan and steward what is given us responsibly. It doesn't even mean that we don't get mad or frustrated. I think it means that we are able to look at what is happening in our lives, in our days, in individual situations, and know that its not our job to be in control. Only to behave toward others as we'd have them behave toward us. When we learn this, I think we make tremendous strides forward in a joyful, peaceful existence.

Let a joyful life come to you. It will if you're patient. It will if you feed it no matter what and provide an environment it can thrive in. It will when you stop trying to control it. At least that's the first step.

image taken with Canon 5DMII, 50mm lens, 1/80 sec @ f1.8, ISO 400